MHA #2 | Friday Morning

[defenderofdesmoines]

So, with all the excitement, this had absolutely been one of the most memorable weeks of Annie's life.

It had, also, notably, been weirdly...inactive, in other ways. In, specifically, a way in which she was usually pretty active these days.

There had been the whole flaming-hot apartment/freezing-cold shower issue on Tuesday, the whole jello shot issue on Wednesday, and between life and training and packing (yes, the new place was furnished but what if she needed something?), she and Diego had been sort of...missing each other.

Which was why Friday morning, when Annie sleepily meandered into the bathroom and turned on the shower -- and the water came out pleasantly warm, as it should, thank you -- it only took her a moment to get an idea.

"Hey, Diego?" She ducked her head out of the bathroom, pulling a towel around herself loosely. "Can you come here?"

Her tone, at least, was very much not one of distress, so hopefully he wouldn't, like, feel the need to come running. (Unless he did. Seriously, it had been since before the kids got here. That was like centuries in sex time.)

[for someone(s).]

Comments

[defenderofdesmoines]

"See how we are respectfully not intruding?" Annie added.

Look at her try to thread the needle between, 'Yes, Diego, that thing is the way to refer to it,' and, 'Yes, Five, your relationship is just as real as ours for the purposes of this example.'

[apocalypsehow]

Five's hands were doing that swirly, distorted thing where powers were being revved up as he glared at Diego more.

Honestly, this was completely in line with most Hargreeves interactions as adults. The whole getting along mostly thing was a bit of an aberration.

"I'll leave you with your mommy replacement then," he snapped, disappearing in a dramatic whirl.

[knife_bender]

You'd think Diego would get less pissed at Five disappearing just to win an argument since it had been a thing since they were born but, nope, still pissed him off just as much.

"I am going to find that mannequin and set it on fire."

He wouldn't, since it seemed to be the one thing Five actually liked, but let him be dramatic for a goddamn minute.

[defenderofdesmoines]

Annie -- who was going to go throw away those shards of mug, now -- wondered what it was about her that inspired all these comments about their mom. (Or was it just that Diego was close to their mother and Five was resentful? That was kind of sad.)

"I mean, don't, he might have, like, a psychotic break or something if you do," Annie sighed. Though how would they even tell.

[knife_bender]

You'll find out soon enough, Annie!

"Maybe a psychotic break will make him normal." That's how it worked, right?

[defenderofdesmoines]

"I don't think that's how it works," Annie said helpfully. "But the Dolores thing is kind of worrisome."

Even if she also, you know, wanted to strangle Five with her own hands right now. Goddamn teleportation.

[knife_bender]

"Whatever, let him be crazy for all I care." Ah, yes, now we enter the 'whatever, they're dead to me' phase of a Hargreeves argument.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Diego." That was a much more tired sigh than the way they both probably wanted her to be sighing his name right now, yes. But she also didn't really have the energy to try to find a bright side or try to find Five's side in this or anything, either. She had gone without sex too long, now.

They could be proactive about this, though. "What can we threaten him with that'll actually matter?" Not setting Dolores on fire, obviously, Five would just hide her somewhere. "So this never happens again?"

[knife_bender]

"No, if you threaten him it just makes him more annoying." The same could be said for Diego too, really.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Okay, this is gonna sound a little extreme," Annie said, holding a hand up, "but hear me out: bear traps."

Just cover the floor in bear traps. They could live in the bed. It would be fine.

[knife_bender]

That made Diego crack a smile. "You know, I think there are some flaws in that plan."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"I mean, we'll need a lot of them to cover the whole floor, sure," Annie continued, "so I hear you, but I bet we could get 'em in bulk online and I'm about to be a gazillionaire, money is literally no object."

[knife_bender]

"I will consider your proposal," Diego joked. "We might just need to get more creative about where we have sex. You know, if we are ever able to have sex again."

Because, seriously. This week.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"I don't think we get to anymore," Annie told him. Ostensibly she was also joking but also maybe it was true. "Like, it's been a good run, but I think that's it. The island doesn't want us to be happy anymore."

To Annie's credit, she was at least accurately blaming the island. She just also was taking it personally when it was -- much like last week -- not a them thing.

[knife_bender]

Diego smiled and leaned in to give her a kiss. "Maybe we'll have better luck in your fancy Starlight apartment."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Until Five figures out where it is," Annie said, but she would do literally everything she could to prevent that. And the mood was pretty thoroughly ruined, but at least there was kissing. "God, he's gonna do that even more once I leave, isn't he?"

[knife_bender]

"Probably," Diego said. "But yelling at him will give me something to do while you're gone."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Maybe you guys'll, like, bond in my absence," Annie offered.

It didn't seem especially likely, but it sure would be convenient if Five was, like, easier to get along with.

[knife_bender]

"I'll probably bond more with the plant," he said.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Well, that's something." Honestly she'd been waiting for that, too, so she'd take it. "What did he mean about Klaus?"

Annie knew about the theft, and the substance abuse, and about the stylish ladies' sunglasses, but she did not realize that if anyone was a pervert in this family....

[knife_bender]

Well, at least she hadn't asked about Luther and Allison.

"Klaus is...let's just say he doesn't know the concept of personal space," Diego said. "Not, like, in a super gross way or anything. He just doesn't like being alone."

[defenderofdesmoines]

Give her a minute on that. She would get to Luther and Allison.

"So Five's not the only non-knocker in the family?" Annie asked, trying to read between the lines a bit there.

[knife_bender]

"Pretty much," Diego said. And because he was talking to Annie, and not his own siblings, he felt comfortable adding, "Dad really fucked him up. Like, more than the rest of us."

Except Vanya, but he didn't know that yet.

[defenderofdesmoines]

Annie softened into worry. "He -- how?"

She really needed to learn to stop asking questions about how Sir Reginald could be worse, and yet.

[knife_bender]

"Well, Dad liked to do specialized training for all of us, depending on our powers?" Diego said. "And Klaus can communicate with the dead. So he would force Klaus to do it. Alone. With a whole bunch of dead people around."